EVEN GARRY THE GOAT IS GETTING HARRAST ON HIS TRAVEL LOL

After successfully getting around the Border Village Quarantine station on the dirt road (without getting a puncture or bogged) we pulled back onto the main hwy just short of Eucla.

We then drove a couple of kilometres before passing a cop car who turned the disco lights on for us.

After we stopped, the male and female copper came up and politely waited for Jimbo to forage around the dash until he found the scissors he uses to turn off the engine.

This is how the conversation went:

Chick copper: Is that a goat?

Jimbo: Yeah, his name is Gary. Hang on a minute, I'll let him out to have a piss, so you can say G'day.

Bloke copper: I've never seen this before.

Jimbo: Yeah, he's a good goat. Don't worry about him wandering, he won't go far. He'll just have a bit of a roam. He loves the salt bush out here. We travel all around Australia doing comedy shows together in pubs.

Bloke copper: Is he part of the act?

Jimbo: Sort of. He's more my publicist actually. The best one I've had too.

Chick copper: That's not Gary the goat who went to court in Sydney over a police fine for eating grass or something?

Jimbo: Yeah, that's the same Gary. The Rocks cops gave us the ticket. Good blokes, those coppers. They really helped us out. We got loads of publicity out of it.

Chick copper: Yeah, it seemed silly. I couldn't believe they went through with it. Anyway, have you got your licence, we've just got to do a driver's check on you.

Jimbo: I lost it but I've ordered a new one which should be arriving in the mail real soon.

Bloke copper: Is this your van?

Jimbo: Yeah... Actually sorry no, it's a friend's who lives in Victoria. But I pay the rego on it.

Chick copper: Have you got any ID?

Jimbo: Yeah, I've got a passport in the glovebox somewhere. Here tis.

Chick copper: Great.

Bloke copper: What are all these tubes running along the side of your van?

Jimbo: They are fuel lines for the extra tank. I'll show you how it's works round the back....You see I collect used cooking oil from pubs, then strain it through a Coles bag into this garbage bin. I then pump it into this '44' drum. It's a bit messy and takes a bit of time but its got me 50,000k's round Australia for free. Not to mention how far it got the three bands who used it before me.

Bloke copper: Yeah, I've heard about biodiesel but nothing this rough.

Chick copper: You're name doesn't seem to be coming up on our computer.

Bloke copper: What state are you from?

Jimbo: Its a WA licence but my mailing address is in NSW. It should come up. A copper checked me last week. Funny story actually. Gary was being mobbed by a school excursion out the back of a netball stadium where I'd stopped to give him a feed in Adelaide. Anyway, next minute I was surrounded by four cops who thought I was taking photos of school children! I had to explain to them that I was just trying to get a good shot of Gary for his facebook page. People are always thinking the worse of each other these days hey!

Chick copper: Don't worry, I've found your licence details.

Bloke copper: Look, there are a few issues with this van. If fact, I'm not sure where to start.

Jimbo: Yeah, she could do with a bit of work.

Bloke copper: And a clean. See this broken tail light.. dust has got into it and covered the reflector.

Jimbo: Yeah, I know. I'm just one good gig away from getting a better van, don't worry. Although, I've been saying that for twenty years now... but who knows, it might happen this weekend in Kalgoorlie. Its not often I get a gig in a town where people have jobs.

Bloke copper: Where are you playing there?

Jimbo: I'm not sure yet.

Bloke copper: Look, I'm going to have to give you a fine for something so how about I make it for, 'fail to maintain vehicle for a roadworthy'. It's $100 but doesn't come with any points.

Jimbo: That sounds excellent to me. Cheers mate. It'll keep us on the road until we get some good gigs.

Bloke copper: Look, I can tell you're an entertainer having a go and you're not doing anything wrong but this fine is the best I can offer you.

Jimbo: Mate, trust me, we're very happy with this deal. In fact we're stoked. There's no way we'll be taking it to court either. It's more than a fair cop and we fully appreciate it.

Bloke copper: I know what it's like mate, I travelled all around Australia in the 90s in a shit car and copped the fines too.

Jimbo: You don't see many shitboxes on the road these days do you?

Bloke copper: They're not allowed. The government is making up more and more ways for us to defect cars and then forcing us to enforce the rules. I think it's because they get so much tax money every time someone buys a new car. For instance, with defecting, if I see one drop of oil in your engine, I'm meant to fine you for it. Just one drop!

Jimbo: Well if you'd seen my van back in Port Augusta, you wouldn't have found any oil on the engine.

Bloke copper: Why not?

Jimbo: It was all on the bitumen.

Bloke copper (smiling while ripping off the ticket): There we go mate, you've still got a month to pay it.

Jimbo: No worries at all. I reckon, I'll even get this one in on time. We've already got two gigs booked in WA.

Bloke copper: The only reason, I gave you this ticket is because if you have an accident down the road you can sue me for letting you go without a fine or for not taking your van off the road.

Jimbo: Yeah, the web of rules in Australia is getting pretty tight these days for everyone. You cops have actually got it worse than anyone.

Bloke copper: You're not wrong there.

Jimbo: Yeah back in the day, you guys could probably have got away with enjoying at least a six pack while trawling for speeders on The Nullabor. Whats it like now? I bet you're not even allowed to pack a couple of lights?

Bloke copper: Ha! Those days are gone ...although you two remind me of them. Safe travels and good luck on your tour.

Jimbo: You know, I often hear how the worst cops in the country are posted to Eucla as punishment for being arseholes. But you guys have just proved to me though that that rumour is bullshit.

Chick copper: Thanks. We'll take that as a compliment.

Jimbo: Before you go, can I take a picture of you both with Gary for his Facebook page?

Bloke copper: Sure.

Chick copper: I don't want to be in it, so I'll take the pic.

Jimbo: Cool! Come on Gary, look at the camera!