ts not easy being a cop. In fact, it's damn hard. Way too hard for us, that's for sure. Now, with out of the way, here are our Top 5 Police Blunders of the Week!
5. Minneapolis Police: Whatever Minneapolis's line item for "bungling" is, they should probably double it. And then triple that.
The Minnesota department has spent $11 million in lawsuits since 2005, according to a Twin Cities TV station. That includes almost $500,000 for a man who suffered brain damage during a raid that he shouldn't have been a part of, plus another $600,000 for an incident in which police stormed the wrong house.
Minneapolis Police: "Serve, protect, and maybe fuck up a little, but that's what lawyers are for, right?"
4. Police Chief Gene Fretheim, Maricopa, California: You can't blame a guy for not snuggling with a neighborhood pit bull, but Gene Fretheim, chief of police of a town near Bakersfield, may have taken his dislike for the breed a bit far.
Lisa Chavez tells a Bakersfield TV station that she took her dog, Maddy, out to play recently when the chief started whistling at the pit bull. But as Chavez retreated inside to alert her boyfriend, she heard a gun shot. Maddy was dead.
Fretheim fessed up to capping Maddy, claiming he was defending himself against the charging dog. But unless Fretheim's been wearing Ribeye deodorant, his story's a little shaky: Multiple residents have reported lately that the chief also shot their dogs for no particular reason.
Fretheim has been slapped with a restraining order and has forced to surrender his gun, which makes total sense, unless he gets mauled by a pit bull anytime soon, in which case everyone will feel pretty stupid. Especially us.
3. Officer Lynn Garland, St. Joseph, Missouri: So it turns out the evidence room is not the place to stick an officer on his way to retirement.
When the St. Joseph, Missouri Police Department needed a replacement in its evidence room, it turned to now-retired Lynn Garland, and asked him to purge evidence from cases that surpassed the statute of limits. But Garland -- either unfamiliar with the statute or just really, really bad at his job -- or maybe both -- for some reason ditched almost all the physical evidence for the trial of a man accused in a beating death. The trial was supposed to start this week, but, as you might imagine, the defense is trying to get it thrown out.
It's unknown why Garland ditched the evidence, but leading forensic experts believe he was "probably thinking about the Cardinals relief pitching."
2. Capt. Ralph Nelson, Fort Lauderdale Police Department: Next time you get pulled over for something minor, be sure to ask the arresting officer how many points you're worth. If the cop high-fives you and yells "Fifteen!," you may have yourself a case.
An officer is South Florida has accused Captain Ralph Nelson of instituting an absurd but really-fun-sounding incentive program, the Sun-Sentinal reported. The whistle-blower, Officer Michael Hennessy, says the department held scavenger hunts in which officers competed to complete certain on-duty tasks, including, apparently, the arrest of homeless people. The winner received a $50 gift certificate to a movie theater, which is thought to be the shittiest purse in the history of the Bust Some Random Homeless Guys Tour.
Captain Nelson also instituted similar programs, including a "70 Point System," making the captain sound a lot like a third-grade teacher. The department has suspended the practice, although Internal Affairs found nothing wrong with it. Shocking, right?
1. Officer Brian Lilly and Sgt. Sean Coutts, Phoenix: By the time the Phoenix police showed up to his house, Tony Arambula had, by all accounts, responded to the situation with the skill and calm of a veteran cop. He'd ushered his wife and young children out of the house and cornered the raving intruder, pointing his gun with one hand and dialing 911 with the other. All he needed was for the police to show up and finish what he started.
They showed up, alright. But they nearly finished Arambula.
After being flagged down by Arambula's wife, two cops barged into his house to save the day. But Officer Brian Lilly mistook Arambula for the perp and, according to a lawsuit, opened fire on the homeowner's back, continuing to pump bullets into him after he hit the ground. Things only got worse after Lilly realized his mistake, the lawsuit says: The family accuses the officers of trying to cover up the mistake, dragging Arambula out of the house and transporting him briefly on the roof of their squad car before he was transferred to an ambulance.
Arambula, who survived but sustained permanent injuries, is seeking $5.75 million dollars in damages. The officers deny many of the allegations, but Lilly's supervisor, Sean Coutts, was heard on 911 tapes telling Lilly, "Don't worry about it, I got your back" -- a little ditty that is not expected to go over well 
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